It’s a familiar story, isn’t it? The constant battle with food, weight, and that nagging sense of guilt every time you indulge. The cycle of dieting, losing weight, and then gaining it all back is exhausting, and it can feel like you’re stuck on a never-ending treadmill that never gets you to where you want to be.
“I have always been conscious of my weight since I was around 17. I have never been drastically overweight but am prone to carrying my weight around my middle. I have dieted on and off for years as I lose weight and then put it back on. I have a reasonable understanding of food. I think generally I eat quite healthily but because I enjoy eating, I probably have too large a portion size. When dieting, I am possibly too strict and then when I can’t sustain the plan long term and have something I consider naughty, I feel that I have failed and binge!” — Jane, 48
Jane’s story is painfully relatable. You’re not alone if you’ve felt the same way — bouncing between restrictive diets and overeating, caught in a loop of good intentions gone awry. You know what to eat, you understand nutrition, and yet, the weight doesn’t stay off. It’s not a lack of knowledge, but the emotional pull of food and the pressure to be perfect that keep the cycle spinning.
The frustration goes beyond the scale. It’s about how you feel every time your jeans feel tighter or when you catch yourself in the mirror and don’t see the progress you’ve worked so hard for. It’s about the guilt that comes with eating something “naughty” and the shame of losing control when the plan falls apart. It feels like no matter how hard you try, you’re always just one misstep away from losing it all.
The problem with traditional dieting is that it’s often too rigid, too all-or-nothing. You might cut out entire food groups, restrict calories to an unsustainable level, or label foods as “good” or “bad.” This kind of black-and-white thinking creates a pressure cooker of expectations that’s bound to explode.
Here’s the kicker: when you’re overly strict, it’s only natural to crave what’s off-limits. And when you inevitably give in, it’s easy to feel like you’ve failed. This is the trap that Jane fell into — and that so many of us do too. The constant start-and-stop of dieting doesn’t just mess with your metabolism; it messes with your mind, reinforcing the idea that you can’t stick to anything long enough to see results.
The truth is, dieting this way puts you in a battle with yourself. It sets you up to swing between control and chaos, with food as the enemy rather than something that can nourish and satisfy you.
Studies have shown that restrictive diets can alter your relationship with food, making you more likely to binge when given the chance. The cycle of dieting and weight gain is linked to metabolic adaptation, where your body becomes more efficient at storing fat after each bout of weight loss, making it harder to keep the weight off long-term .
Chronic dieting can also lead to increased levels of cortisol, the body’s stress hormone, which can prompt overeating and fat storage, particularly around the middle — exactly where Jane struggles most .
So, what’s the way out of this cycle? It starts with a mindset shift: letting go of the diet mentality and embracing a balanced, sustainable approach to eating. This means moving away from rigid rules and tuning in to your body’s signals. Instead of focusing solely on what to eat, start considering why you eat and how you feel about food.
- Ditch the Diet Mentality: Instead of swinging between strict diets and “cheat days,” aim for consistency. Eat in a way that’s satisfying and sustainable. This means allowing yourself to enjoy all foods without guilt and practising moderation rather than restriction.
- Portion Awareness: Jane mentioned eating large portion sizes because she enjoys food — and who doesn’t? Rather than slashing portions to uncomfortably small amounts, focus on tuning into hunger and fullness cues. Try eating slowly, savouring each bite, and noticing when you feel comfortably satisfied rather than stuffed.
- Flexible Eating Patterns: Restrictive plans often fail because they’re impossible to maintain. A flexible approach doesn’t mean eating whatever, whenever, but it does mean creating balance. If you have a treat, don’t write off the whole day; enjoy it and move on. Focus on your overall pattern of eating rather than any single food choice.
- Self-Compassion: One of the biggest traps in dieting is the guilt that follows a perceived failure. Instead of beating yourself up, treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend. Remember, food is not a test of your willpower, and eating something “naughty” doesn’t make you a failure. You are human, and it’s okay.
- Deep Health Coaching: Working with a coach can provide the accountability, support, and personalised guidance needed to break free from the dieting trap. A coach can help you identify your triggers, reframe your mindset, and build a sustainable plan that works with your lifestyle — not against it.
If you resonate with Jane’s story and are ready to stop dieting and start thriving, I’m looking for five people who want to enjoy food without guilt, nourish their bodies without strict rules, and finally find a way of eating that feels good long-term. Get in touch to learn more and receive two weeks of free coaching. Learn more here.
References:
- Dulloo, A. G., & Montani, J. P. (2015). “Pathways from dieting to weight regain, to obesity and to the metabolic syndrome: an overview.” Obesity Reviews, 16(S1), 1-6.
- Tomiyama, A. J. (2019). “Stress and Obesity.” Annual Review of Psychology, 70, 703-718.
This article takes the frustration and pain of Jane’s dieting journey and offers a new way forward. It’s about finding balance, ditching the all-or-nothing mindset, and embracing an approach to eating that supports not just weight loss, but a better relationship with food and your body. Get coaching here.